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Sunday, 17 February 2019

Calling All Foot Pervs

Just going to put this out there: Foot Pervs. Pardon the pun, but they walk among us. They are lurking on Instagram, in particular. Twitter is obviously less visual -  I’m not sure 280 characters of descriptive foot text would have the same effect as a photo, and I’m not on Facebook so can’t comment on the likelihood of Foot-Perviness there. Instagram’s the place. They appear when any photograph including feet – whether shoed or unshoed (yes I made up words) is posted. And then they….well, let’s be honest, we do not wish to know what they do next.


I posted this article after finally facing the fear of admitting I had bunions. Whilst sharing it on social media, I naively included several hashtags relating to feet. Twenty minutes later a notification pops up: ‘BunionLover82 wants to send you a message’. Okaaaaaaayyyy. I’m thinking I probably don’t want to engage in a convo with BunionLover82. Maybe my instincts are wrong – maybe he’s a perfectly pleasant gentleman who is just being friendly and……NO. Just NO.

A few minutes later, another notification. ‘Footfetishxxx wants to send you a message’. Errrmmm…..block.

Oh – here’s another! ‘suckmytoepls wants to send you..…….’  OH BLOODY HELL.

And why are bunions such a draw? If you’re going to perv over someone’s trotters, wouldn’t you choose pretty, neat, less-lumpy feet? I’m not sure what the point of this post is, other than to raise awareness. Should we stop posting photos which include our feeton social media? I don’t think so. I mean, where would it end? Who’s to say there aren’t Elbow Pervs out there, getting all hot under the collar at pictures of forearms we inadvertently include in outfit shots? Or Knuckle Pervs, poring over people’s engagement ring snaps for entirely the wrong reasons? I am now seriously reconsidering my idea of a series of blog posts about annoying body-related issues, for fear of unwanted attention from those attracted by thinning eyebrows or errant facial hair.

Thinking about the foot thing - I remember reading years ago about a woman who made thousands selling old shoes on Ebay (okay, possibly not thousands, but quite a lot of money). She’d wear the shoes – usually cheap Primark flats – for weeks, in all weathers, until they were basically completely ruined. Then she’d sell them to someone willing to pay a ridiculous amount for a disgusting pair of old shoes. I feel sick thinking about it, and I’m not sure why I’m including it here – other than that if I have to think about it, then it’s only fair that you do, too.

Am I na├»ve to the seedy ways of the world, do you think? I don’t watch much Channel 4, so maybe I am.

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